Day 3 - One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish

You might recognize that title to a Dr. Seuss book from childhood. It seemed appropriate for today’s post about two swimmy creatures that we call our pets.

The fish tank was an earned compromise for our son about a year ago. It was such a big deal to go pick it out, along with all the assorted goodies that make the fish’s house a home.

Then came the fish. I have lost count of the number of fish we had to sacrifice in the tank to get the water ‘ready’ to house the REAL round of pets. I had no clue about this process, until they kept dying and I did some research online to discover it is commonplace. You must first murk up your water with too much food, fish waste, high ammonia and ph levels and other sorts of ‘stuff’ that happens in a tank that needs to be broken in. This happens naturally, thank goodness, but at the expense of the carefully chosen pet fish that kept dying on us.

You might recall this OREO obituary that was written to honor the last of the fish that sacrificed his life for the good of the tank.

We are down to two now. Their colors are red and blue. Neon Tetras they’re called. These suckers won’t die! They must have become one with the once toxic water, and can now live in anything.

Let’s just say, the novelty of fish ownership has worn off, oh, about a year ago, when I stopped allowing my son to feed the fish because his “pinch” of food always ended up clouding the water and making a mess of the rocks and gravel. So now my husband and I feed the fish. We did not want fish. How do we parents inherit these annoying little things to add to our own To Do list?

I’m writing about this today because it’s time to clean the tank again. I feel like a child in the sense that I have put it off for weeks now. I am whining in my mind every time I glance over at it. “I Don’t Wanna Do It…” with a little foot stomp and eye-roll. But no one is listening. Nor would they care even if they were hearing me.

Our son wants a dog. We told him when he turns 11 we would get a family dog. That’s 3 years from now. Why so far off? Because I need that time to become one with the fact that I will probably be the one that takes care of this pet as well. And right now, collecting poop each week, wiping wet paws, vet bills and dog hair totally make the thought of three years away seem like mere days.

I’m reconsidering my love for the fish. No walks. A jar of food lasts 6 months. No vet bills. No pet fur. No puppy training.

I think I’m going to go happily clean the tank now.

I would hate for those two to die, find myself cornered in a weak moment and discover a dog in my house 3 years early...

Rest In Peace, Oreo

ZIONSVILLE, IN. – One Dalmation Molly was found dead in his tank this week, after the owner searched feverishly to find him. He was found in the corner, upside down with his tail pulled into the filter. He leaves behind no siblings or friends. He was the sole survivor of said tank for many months. We’re sure he was greeted with much fish love on “the other side” when he was flushed. “Heaven’s down there?” his owner questioned as Oreo swirled around the bowl. Oreo suffered from a lengthly illness, and was preceded in death by many friends and relatives that once shared his home in The Tank. He held on as long as he could through his sickness to give a family the joy of pet ownership.

Oreo was a good fish. A dedicated pet to those who loved him. Each morning, he would swim to the front of the tank in anticipation of his tasty TetraColor tropical crisp breakfast. You could see his fins sway with glee as he chased around his meal as it floated within the waters. Oreo spent much of his days gliding through the plants, resting in the rock cave and admiring his reflection. He could even be seen throwing caution to the wind at times, and playing in the fierce rolling bubbles that spew from his scuba diver tank-mate. He was crazy like that sometimes. He was a handsome fish who took pride in his sleek body covered with dabbles of black and white speckles. He will be remembered with a smile, and when Nabisco cookies are being dunked in milk at the table.

Cause of death is still not known, but the owners of this tank may be charged with overfeeding, overstocking and glass tapping in excess. Initial findings of problem scales and some furry stuff may be to blame. Investigations are still pending. Be on the lookout for the suspects at your local PetSmart attempting to replace their beloved swimmers again. They have assured us the tank has been properly cleaned, disinfected and ready for new pets. They’re confident that Oreo will be guiding them from beyond. Rest In Peace, Oreo. Your home looks so empty, but we'll fill it with more swimming love in a few days.


Funeral and burial services were held privately in The Bathroom Down The Hall for the family.