Are you a member of this club?

Well it’s official. I got my first “I hate you!” from my kid. I can’t recall sputtering those words this young (7), but I can bet my parents heard it a time or two out of my mouth. Karma is biting me in the behind. I was pretty mouthy as a child, but again I don’t think I was this young with attitude, maybe I was. I remember in my preteen and my teens though, ouch. So I guess I do know the feeling of not being able to bite my tongue, but is that really hereditary? I mean, look at this face - he doesn't know how to hate anything, where'd he learn this?

He was playing in the yard with some friends and I asked him not to do something on the swing set that was dangerous. He stopped then started doing it again a few minutes later. I told him to come over and sit on the deck for 5 minutes and I would tell him when his time is up. He kept asking if time was up yet, so I informed him a minute is added each time he asked. Finally, about the third time he asked me and I turned him away again with an added minute, I heard him say under his breath, “oh, I really hate this… and I hate you too” as he went to sit back on the deck. I stood there shocked for a moment and wondered how to handle that. I know he was mad and had a right to be, but saying he hated me was simply unacceptable.

He was told to come inside and stay in his room until dinner. We had a talk about it after dinner and then Tom talked to him about it later as he tucked him in. It’s sort of bitter sweet you know. Coming from this particular child, we almost rejoice in the fact that he knows how to be spicy, but it’s catching us a little off guard. And isn’t this spiciness supposed to be reserved for daughters? They are the ones made of sugar and spice you know…

Back in the olden days (ha-ha), when I was little, one punishment you’d hate to get would be soap in the mouth to “wash out the backtalk”. I didn’t get it too often, but I can recall the times in my life that a bar of Ivory Soap was introduced to my taste buds. Not fun. Picture the scene in the classic movie A Christmas Story when the character Ralphie was sitting on the toilet seat cover with a bar of soap sticking out of his mouth.


Yep, not fun. Sadly, I’d probably be arrested in this day and age if I did that to my kid. But I still threaten it. Then I have to chuckle when he asks me serious questions like, “will I make bubbles in my mouth if you put soap in it?”, “what if the soap doesn’t get all the ‘sassies’?”…. geez, how do you keep a straight face when you’re asked these questions?

Oh, I also got a note slipped to me from him while in his room. I instantly thought of my sister in law whose child slipped her a note out of anger one day and it lovingly said, “Mommy butt”. Isn’t that funny? It’s always funnier when it’s not your own child… Anyway, mine said (spelling left as is): “To Mommy from Carter. Dear Mommy, Carter wonts to go outside and play with my frinds.” He definitely gets and A+ for persistence. Little gems like this get put into his memory box next to the "I Love You, Mom" cards. It’s all about balance right?

Anyway, I’m not sure how it feels to belong to this new parent club of “haters” now. I feel anointed, yet a little defeated. It’s pretty much the way I feel about those horrid pregnancy stretch marks now on me forever. You try so hard to do your best job with your kids and this is how they thank you! Where’s Dr. Phil when I need him? Maybe I should mail my Mom a box of Ivory Soap with a note of apology, and the letters S.O.S…