One thick, fluffy roll of cotton. 5-6" in diameter. Flap folds over the top. Found usually with a posse of 5 buddies. Goes by the name, "Cottonelle". Aka, "T.P." as heard on the streets.
One male human. Blue eyes. Same last name as victim. May have cotton fibers left over on fingerprints. Will have guilty look on face when confronted. May claim he did not realize roll was left vacant. Suspect may be armed with excuses but is not considered dangerous.
Does this look familiar to you?
This speaks a thousand words without actually saying anything. First, it screams “touched by a male”, and I only know this fact because it is always of the male persuasion that leaves the untidy empty roll in our house. I have a good idea of which male probably disappeared into the shadows, but I can’t be 100% certain because there are two suspects living in our home. How hard of a task is this guys??
Secondly, women don’t leave untidy empty rolls on the holder. We know if we left it like that, we’d get called upon to rescue such male in the midst of a private moment anyway by tossing one to them. Or, it would be our luck that we would again be the next person to need the bathroom and the empty roll would still be there in silence. So, we change it, right then and there. And we even restock the extra rolls if their “extras” spot happens to be completely empty in the bathroom. You know, to make it easier on anyone who needs to reach for a new roll and replace it next time. We are thoughtful like that. Because we are women.
There is also a universal groan that comes from women around the world when they realize the roll is empty, and has not been replaced. It’s a sound that is a cross between the growl of a bear and the exhale of a yawn, followed by an eyeroll left over from teenage-hood. Mine sounds like that anyway. That huff and puff we do when we realize we’ve been left to forage for a new roll, says “How inconsiderate of you! How lazy of you!”
Is there a gene missing in the male genetic makeup that accounts for the actions of such creatures? It doesn’t begin and end with the toilet paper roll either. Oh no. It goes hand in hand with the toilet seat being left up, the bar of soap smidge left behind in the shower, the few morsels of cereal hidden in the powdery substance at the bottom of a cereal box, the trash bag that might hold just one more thing, you get the picture.
I’m sure there is a list of “female factor” line items that could be addressed here. But since it’s my blog, and I’m writing about being the victim of the untidy empty toilet paper roll, there will be no lady bashing. And since I was alone without any male companions this afternoon, my huff and puff was not heard when I discovered such conditions. It was a nice parting gift don’t you think?
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Mom and Carter decorating some cookies
Olivia and Mommy
Modeling her new headband
Olivia making her very first cookie - an angel!
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Ring, Ring, Ring, Ring.......
Carter: "Mommy, the phone is ringing!"
Me: "I know, I can't get it right now I'm busy with Olivia"
Carter: "Can I answer it?"
Me: "no, not this time, they'll leave a message"
Carter: "can I push the message button then?"
Me: "When I'm done changing Olivia"
I'm done, so we go to the kitchen to see the phone glowing orange which indicates a message - and he wants to listen...
Me: "Ok Carter, remember which button to press?"
Carter: "yesssssss Mommmmmyyyyy" (imagine an eyeroll inserted here from Carter because apparently kids think their parents are so dumb already at the ripe old age of SIX)
Listening to silence as the caller didn't want to leave a message it appears...
Me: "Well, I guess no one was there."
Carter: "No, I think it must have been God...."
Me: "God? Why would it be God if there's nobody on the answering machine?
Carter: "Becaaaaauuuuse, we can't hear God, and we didn't hear anyone on the message!" (imagine an eyeroll inserted here from Carter yet again in frustration as if to say - DUH Mom!)
Well, if he says it must be God....... (shrug) I have no argument!
Posted by Andrea at 1:13 PM
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Yesterday began a weekend of being snowed in. We got a significant enough storm, that we stocked up on things to do at home, one of which included making our traditional gingerbread house. I'm no Martha Stewart, so there will be no homemade gingerbread recipes found in my tattered recipe book. Nope - we buy the pre-made kits. Comes with rock hard gingerbread forms (that taste disgusting by the way!), a bag of icing to use as glue (and tastes like it's intentions), a couple of small bags of candy to decorate with, and instructions that are pretty idiot proof. My kind of creation! I erected the house as Carter requested, then it was time for him to decorate.
It went sort of like this: One gumdrop here, another in his mouth. One gumball there, let's see how this one tastes. You get the picture. Just as it should be. No fun making a gingerbread house if you can't sample to goodies while you're working. All of that thinking and planning how you want it to look makes a boy need to refuel with sugar you know! Those brilliantly colored blobs of kid-crack do the job. The temptation can not be overcome, and children must sample all of the delights. Thankfully I know this in advance, so I wasn't having a fit while he ate the materials for our house. I love when the small stuff make a kid have a thrill. Oh, but I'm making up for it today, as he's eaten several parts of the house while there weren't any glaring eyes on him. And began bouncing off of every surface his feet and body touched today. So much for sniffing glue - he was eating it! Those sugar highs can really be something.....
Here's some pictures of our fun!
Click photos to enlarge
And so you can get an idea of what's being ingested every time he looks at it... the walkway gumdrops have disappeared. Snow and sprinkles, as well as the Christmas Tree gingerbread cookie, and lots of gumballs along the roof line. So funny.
Here's some cute pictures of Carter and Olivia playing together. She's starting to protest if a toy is taken away, and big brother is starting to get the feel of how to tease. Good times all around!
How cute is she? With her sock she loves to carry around with her everywhere. Some kids have a special blankie - she.has.a.sock. Yep, that's my child.
Oh, and here's a closeup of the only two teeth she has in her mouth. We lovingly call her our hamster. Looks just like a rodent right? If she only had the top two...
Are these not the biggest blueberries you've ever seen?
Thursday, December 13, 2007
January seems to be our lucky month for having a baby (no, we're not pregnant...). Both of the kids have birthdays next month - Olivia's is the 3rd and Carter's is the 18th. This means, that among all of the holiday hoopla we're trying to climb out from under, we have to plan a couple of parties. To wait until after Christmas would be too late - the 3rd of January comes pretty quickly. I suppose I should not complain, there are other days that could be more challenging - say, like December 25th - when one of my best girlfriends had her first baby last year. What a fantastic Christmas present for them! Yet, they will forever face the challenge of celebrating 2 major events on the same day.
There are some really cool things about being born on Christmas Day though. Besides, sharing your birthday with one of the most famous people of all time - Jesus, everyone is getting together on your birthday - noone ever forgets! And there will probably be double the gifts for quite a few years that the child can cash in on. How cool to have birthday presents wrapped in birthday wrapping paper - under the Christmas Tree! There are not many people that can claim that special day as their birthday - I believe that birth day was hand picked just for her, by Him. And I think it's pretty darn cool.
Now, back to January and my whining. We had our hearts set on having Carter's 7th birthday party at the "Carter's Toy Museum" that just opened here in our town. They have a small diner-style place to grab lunch, they have an ice cream parlor, the toy museum tour, and in the basement there are about 20+ coin operated toys for the kids to enjoy. And a carousel on the 3rd floor. Well, we went last weekend to check it out in person, and although I was really impressed, I think we'll have to save it for Olivia's birthday sometime. It was just too young of a place for a 7 year old's bday. More the speed for those under 5. Now the museum, that's for anyone older that can enjoy toys collected and played with older than the 1960's. Some really cool stuff to see!
Plan B: There's a new franchise that just opened up here in our Mall, called Ridemakerz. Have you ever heard of Build-A-Bear? Well, this is for boys what build-a-bear is for girls! Here, we will bring the boys to build a toy car of their own. They can customize it to their liking by choosing a style, a color, tires, rims, decals, license plate and special name for their car. They will build the car at the Ridemakerz "shop", and be able to take it home with them. The neat part too, is that at any time the boys would like to upgrade their cars' features (can even make it a remote-control car), they can bring it back to the "shop" and customize it further on their own. We will have cake etc. at the mall too and call it a day! Carter is really into the movie "CARS", so he wants a cake that is from the movie, and this place fits perfectly to the theme. It should have been Plan A from the start - but I just found out about it in our local newspaper, and I'm so glad! Looking forward to this!
Olivia - is turning *gulp* ONE! My gosh, seriously - where did this year go? It's been 6 years since we've been able to enjoy this baby stage with another child and it's been such a joy. She is so incredibly easy going and always happy, I could SO have 10 more if I was sure they'd all be this (dare I say...) easy! I'm sure I'll be chomping these words once she's more able to assert herself in the world (with a lovely sassy mouth she's sure to inherit from me, or learn how from her brother....) - but for now, pure bliss and we wouldn't trade it for anything. We'll have a family party here at home probably on Jan. 5th. I don't know much more than that, but I have a bullseye on the day, and that's something to start with right?
Here's a picture of her latest accomplishment - from bottle to SIPPY CUP!!!
click on photo to enlarge
Sunday, December 9, 2007
Since there's not too much going on other than getting Christmas shopping done and fretting about Luminary Night that was supposed to happen in my neighborhood tonight (postponed because of rain), I thought I'd post some pictures of Carter enjoying our freshly fallen snow and a cute video of Olivia's new tricks!
As always, click photos to enlarge!
The view into the back yard trees looked so pretty after the snow fell...
Here we have the quintessential snow angel art! He couldn't wait to stamp one into the ground....
And before the rain began to wash it all away, we had to build our first snowman of 2007!
And here's my sweet Olivia - this video contains 2 parts - the first is her kissing the pictures in her favorite book. The second part of it is her showing off her new trick of shaking her head "No No" and giggling! Enjoy! Just an FYI, she's not said "Mama" yet (sure, she'll point to me if you ask her where Mama is), but she can already tell me "no"... what's up with that?
Olivia kissing pictures 12/9/07
Thursday, December 6, 2007
So we had our first accumulative snowfall yesterday (3.5"), not too much, but just enough to need snow gear to play outside. I'm not usually a procrastinator, ok maybe sometimes, but I have good reasons. You know how swim suits, flip flops & pool toys start making it to the store shelves in February? - yeah, ridiculous to us Northerners - well snow gear starts getting into the stores before pumpkin seeds are even planted. Who's in charge at these dept. stores, of ordering for the seasons anyway? Whoever it is must be from the south - where those timelines actually make sense. That, or they're just idiots. (I don't sound bitter do I?)
So while parents are starting to think about what their plans for 4th of July are, the store stock boys are removing flip flops (which is usually around the time I start looking for some and they're gone), swimsuits, putting up Christmas decorations - and hanging snow gear. Mercy - who's thinking about snow any time other than the day before the first storm is to arrive - in December? Not me. Sure, I see the snow pants, the latest snow boot fashion, the cute hats and gloves I will need to stock up on. Somehow each year, pairs of gloves disappear in the abyss and join the secret "other sock" collection, and need to be replaced. But no, I'm searching for flip flops, not snow gear during that time.
Then December hits. Getting cold out. Starting to think about needing snow gear for the kids. Alas, some snow is predicted! Flurries! No need for gear in flurries - we'll wait for The Big One to be predicted. Not good. Do you know why it's not good? Because now the gear flies off the shelf as fast as bread and eggs before a storm (people must like to make french toast during a storm or something? It's always the first to go!). Once the gear is picked over, and inevitably your kids' sizes are gone, you are forced to drive all over town from store to store hoping you find said gear. Sometimes you're lucky - sometimes not so much. Sure, there's always L.L. Bean (great store!) if you want to spend $70 on snow pants, but I like to keep my recurring annual purchase under $20 if I can. That is not an unreasonable request, because they're usually on sale - and this causes the giant stampede of Mothers In Mass to suck up every thread they can get their hands on.
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
How did it get to be 5 days into December already? I feel like I blinked and then here we are. It's nice to have some things crossed off the To Do list though. On Saturday, I had my ornament exchange at my house with about 19 of us, indulging on much-too-fattening appetizers and much-too-easy to sip cocktails. We had a great time chatting the night away, laughing and telling stories. And we all ended the night with a fabulous ornament to add to our trees. I'm looking forward to this again next year and it was a great kick-off to the holiday season!
On Sunday, we were up and out of the house a little after 9:00 am to head south 2 hours for our winter family reunion. It's a fun day to spend time with everyone that we don't get to see very often. We have a Women's and Men's gift exchange there, and parents wrap a gift for each of their children to enjoy too. The weather was pouring rain though, so it took quite a while to drive home at the end of the day.
Monday was spent cleaning up from Saturday's party. Of course I rinsed all of my platters and glasses out after the party, but I was so tired that I went to bed right after everyone left, knowing we had to be up bright and early to head to the reunion. Needless to say, on Monday I had my work cut out for me!
Tuesday I got a lot of Christmas shopping done! YAY! What a nice feeling that is to start scratching things off of THAT list. The best part? I did it all online, sitting in my pajamas until noon and got FREE SHIPPING on all of it. No lines, no crowds, no far-away parking spots in the cold, no dragging kids along - and I could do it all with bed-head and a cup of tea in my hand! I love technology! Inevitably, I will have to show up at a mall and be annoyed, but that all goes away once you get home and it's time to wrap. I love to wrap! Not that I am super good at it or anything, I just like to do it. I love choosing wrapping paper and bows, and seeing the growing pile of presents before me of things that are going to make people smile. Carter is getting really excited about the festivities, and it's contagious!
This weekend, we're taking the kids to buy presents for a family that my Mothers and More group "adopted" for Christmas through our local fire department. Our assignment as a family, is to get Star Wars items for this family's 7 year old boy. Carter is eager to shop for toys and it is going to be a great opportunity to discuss the act of giving and helping others with him. He asks some hard questions though, so we'll have to be prepared with some good answers!
I'll leave you with this.... It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!
First snowfall - Dec. 5, 2007